I’ve never had a romance. With a man. Yes, I’ve loved very hard, but it was never romantic. Romantic to me is the relationship between Dagny Taggart and John Galt. So intense that it leaves you speechless. I’m not going to invest my time in a half romance. When it hits me, my romantic partner better watch out because I’m very intense in everything that I do.

Foodies often describe the sensations and memories curated by food experiences as romantic. To me, that is quite funny. The foods that I eat? They are very basic. Minimal. And intended for nourishment, never for pleasure or romance. Sure, when I am eating lunch in my car and someone looks inside of the window, they’ll likely see a face that looks as though I’ve had an orgasm, and sure, one might think that is me receiving pleasure. But no, that is not pleasure or romance. That is simply my body’s response to receiving its fuel. Becky gets the same face when she eats. Ha!

And obviously, for 17 years, my food experiences were very bad bad bad. We’re talking from age 17 to 34. That’s a whole lotta bad.

But even before that, there’s not much that I remember that can be classified as remotely romantic. Sometimes on Mondays, I’ll smell marinara sauce in the air. This reminds me of my childhood, as my mother would make spaghetti on Mondays. But do I yearn for those days? Hell no. And then there’s the other thing, the one very remote thing that I can classify as being a lovely memory. Saturday mornings! I would eat dippy eggs and watch She-Ra Princess of Power, The Wuzzles, Fraggle Rock, Jem and The Holograms, and The Muppet Babies. Sometimes I would option for scrambled eggs.

And nowadays? I get that same craving on Saturdays except I eat mock egg (vegan) and usually watch the Friday night film that I didn’t finish watching because I fell asleep on my martini, hehe.

In a recent blog post, I declared that I’ve never gotten deep into many television shows aside from Sex & The City, This Is Us, Damages, and Fraggle Rock. I need to correct that statement. There are two more for this list. FULLER HOUSE. Oh dear gosh I cry on each episode because I feel so connected to D.J. and Stephanie Tanner! It is so very well done. I’ll never forget the first time that I watched FULL HOUSE. It was pizza night at my house in the 80s. I was alone in the living room and flipped to a station where a dog stole a sandwich. That is my first memory of Full House, and I am completely romantic about it, to this day! Also, I am romantic about CARRIE BRADSHAW so much that I followed Sara Jessica Parker to HBO’s DIVORCE, the premiere of season two having aired on Sunday; and yes, I am also romantic about SJP in any role that she does. She embodies the new role of Francis so well that I no longer see her as Carrie Bradshaw. Very well done. What else is well done? Saturday’s mock egg salad so much that I needed it again on SUNDAY!

Yes, that would be egg on Gwendolyn’s face. Isn’t she the cutest egg face on Earth? Thank you for reading about my romance with eggs! Namaste!

What is your food romance? LOL.