Why, because I am a pretty, former Bulimic, is it illegal to EAT an entire package of vegan cheese? For lunch?!

Lunch, as featured on My First Vegan WIAW.

10 Slices x 40 calories per slice? For those of us English, non-math girls, that is 400 calories. One meal. And for this report? I had to physically GOOGLE the nutritional specifics because frankly? I didn’t know!… sure, I ‘knew’ from a general sense. But I didn’t ‘know’ or ‘calcuate’ from a specific sense.

During consumption, I had ‘assumed’ 40 to 65 simply because that’s what I do… but I am NOT governed by calories (anymore).

So, was my lunch a Binge? Reflective of Bulimia as charged?

Sure, maybe if one’s affiliation is Anorexia (respectfully stated).

WHAT in tarnation is wrong with people to suggest that eating one container of cheese is Bulimic simply because the FDA classifies ONE SLICE as 40 calories and one serving?! So that means 10 slices is illegal?

Perhaps I’d be classified as ‘more credible‘ in the Bulimic Management Sector if I consumed a more ‘normal‘ meal, such as that recommended by the delicious vegan Cheese Concocter’s website?

Hahah! I’d never eat this for a normal meal! Would you?!

No time! No desire! I’d need to add an entire bottle of reduced sugar Heinz Ketchup for achievement of satisfaction. And, moreover, what is more nourishing about this food design than is a simple package of vegan cheese? Especially if vomiting and or dissatisfaction is involved / considered?!

If I did eat this complicated ‘nutritious recipe‘, would I then be successfully ‘managing‘? If I created this wild, complicated concoction instead of eating cleanly and simply like I do, would I be more respected at this blog?

I eat cleanly and simply, like a pretty New York clothing boutique. Like an Apple Store. What’s wrong with that? Why do you care so much?

I wrote about my definition of ‘healthy eating’ v. ‘overeating’ v. ‘bingeing’ at my article entitled, “Crossing the Border and Getting Shot in the Head.” Read it before you bitch any further, bitches.

Embracing my belief of what is proper for my being has been the change. Not giving a fuck about the food rules, the food police, the DSM, and therefore the eating medical mongers and food socialists, is what, in addition to my promise to Gwendolyn, has allowed me to manage my eating disorder perfectly for two years, one month, and 27 days.

Happy. 🙂

But, we have a most important breaking NEWS FLASH!!!!!!!!!

Today, I discovered that ‘Anabel‘ owns exclusive rights to the patent on definition of ‘Recovery‘ from Bulimia!!! And, according to her apparent government-endorsed definition, I’m not ‘recovered‘! I’ve stopped ‘fighting‘! I’m ‘going a big fat nowhere‘!

Therefore, in addition to being a ‘Recovered Bulimic‘, ‘Anabel’ is also the expert on ‘Management‘! Wow! She’s a fucking genius!

“Recovered Bulimic here. That’s not management. Management is not when you cannot even keep a small package of cheese slices because you might binge on them. Management is not constantly overeating on some things and excluding others. Management is keeping up a balanced intake, in terms of nutrition and food groups and the energy requirements to fuel your life. It’s not purging in other ways like over exercising and it’s not swapping one addiction for another – bulimia to alcohol. Bulimia is still very much in control of YOU… I’m speaking up because you should know, and other people who read this need to know, it doesn’t have to be this way. If you don’t have the courage or the strength to keep fighting, then you too can stop at this sort of point and pretend to yourself and the world that you are fine and happy and managing your disorder when really you are going a big fat nowhere. But most of us DO have the strength in us to keep going. Most of us DO have the courage to admit to ourselves when things aren’t good and tolerate discomfort in order to change those things.” – ‘Anabel’, on ‘My First Vegan WIAW’.

Whew! Based on her compelling argument, it’s good and wonderful that I don’t believe in recovery from an eating disorder! I wonder, though, at which point did ‘Anabel’ regard herself as ‘recovered’? It seems as though she must have lost her ‘courage to keep fighting’ because to me, ‘fighting’ indicates ‘combat’ which indicates ‘challenge’ which indicates ‘problem’.

A ‘fighter‘ is certainly not ‘recovered‘ but rather making continual progress toward a better state of health such as that presented in my article entitled, ‘The Legal Beagle‘. Or have I been wrong?

Oh, ‘Anabel’! I bow to thee! How does one accomplish this utopic state of health that you claim? Please, share your divine secret!

At what point does one become ‘recovered’? At what point does one stop ‘management’, becoming the la la la fluffy bunny version of thy former self? When does one become ‘all zen and that’?

Please share your wisdom!

Or, just shut the fuck up and respect people for doing what is right for themselves.

If I am not eating 25,000 calories in one session and puking with a laxative overdose as skinny insurance, then I am, indeed, managing. My management system evolves daily. I constantly ‘fight’. I constantly ‘progress’. I constantly excel. So don’t fucking judge me. Judge yourself. And stop reading ED blogs if you truly no longer affiliate.

But I know you do.

What is your criticism of my management?

© Nicole Marie Story and nicoleandgwendolyn.com, 2011, 2012.