I love the first day of the month. It’s always like a mini New Year. And, for a girl who works best under strict systems, schedules, and rules, it’s a breath of fresh air after racing for the prior 30 days to accomplish something huge. Each month, I set a new goal. And this month, I’m getting really firm with myself.
Because, like clockwork, when I’ve achieved my happy weight / body size / strength level, I tend to lose focus on my art. In 1999, at the weight of 89 pounds, I stopped dancing and playing volleyball. In 2011, at the weight of 103, I stopped practicing yoga. And now? At a weight that I shan’t disclose because I know it’s triggering to people who read with eating disorders, I’m finding excuses to avoid writing and finishing this book that I’ve blabbed about for much too long.
Before I list my April requirements, I want to tell you about something interesting! Also, like clockwork, when my body hits a certain level, I begin to repeat other patterns:
1. I become ferociously cold at nighttime. On Monday, shoved underneath of the warmest covers on Earth with my little sweet chubby dog baby, I began typing onto Facebook, “Sooooooooo cold” as my status. But, preferring to stay positive in my posts, I deleted it, rather closing my eyes and imagining Kevin Costner as ‘Dances with Wolves’ in my bed with his arms around me, with my arms around my dog, all three of us falling into a warm slumber. It’s not often that I crave a human’s touch, but it was the best solution to my coldness at the time, and that reminds me of a future blog post that I’m writing on my friend’s new gorgeous blog about dating and men! So stay tuned for that!
2. I crave mango! Last week, I spotted a springtime display of MANGO at Whole Foods. Conventional. BOO HOO. They looked SO good, but I held back because this girl doesn’t do pesticides. And on Sunday, I gloriously spied ORGANIC!!!!!!!!! HIP HIP HOORAY!
Someone else lusts after mango when mommy lusts after mango.
What a ham.
3. I crave to do yoga all day. Just standing in line at Starbucks today, I wanted to swan dive onto the yoga mat like a swimmer into the pool! To play on my hands! To be free like a bird! And, when I eventually got home, I practiced in my jeans! Size 0 White House Black Market, 2007. Woo hoo!
eka pada koundinyasana ii
I was pretty happy about my appearance in these pictures except for the gross feet, and I scheduled a pedicure for Saturday to take care of that!!
And due to my happiness with my body, I busted into one of my favourites! Backbend! Yay!
4. I crave RAW FISH. It’s been since late September that I’ve wanted fish. Specifically, my cravings are salmon, eel, and octopus! Good Friday might be a really great day for raw fish and wine. Oh la la! Can we say party? 😉
5. My knees can’t rest comfortably atop one another when lounging.
6. And the sixth tell-tale sign that I’ve achieved my preferred weight… I want to CHOP off my hair. Yes, friends! In May, I’ll chop it off, doing a bob like Carrie Bradshaw circa season five. Something 1930s. And the rest of this big animal will go to make a wig for someone suffering from cancer. This will be my third wig.
Back to losing interest in my art when I lose weight. It’s not going to happen this time because effective today, 1 April, for each day of this beautiful month, no matter how busy, tired, or disinterested I might be in writing about eating disorders and everything else that happened after my bulimia, I’ve resolved to:
1. Write 400 words daily in my book!
2. Publish daily at the blog!
3. Be so happy and excited about it!
That’s my goal! As proven with my Facebook fast, my alcohol fast, and my Tae Bo reintroduction, I need 30 days to create a new habit. And 30 days will be enough time to progress on this masterpiece that I’d like in your hands by next year.
So let it be written so let it be done. 😉
Thanks so much for reading! Have a good day, and namaste!
What’s your fabulous April resolution?