with jillian, it was friendship at first sight!
the year, 2004.
the location, duquesne university.
the lip gloss, tutti dolce by the bath & body works. yes, we applied the same lip gloss at the same time. that’s when we realised it was friendship forever. 🙂
it was the perfect friendship for two girls equally obsessed with sex & the city.
every saturday night for three years, we celebrated with fabulous dinners and exciting movies. sure, i’d often deeply slumber in the theatre because purging my cream of chicken soup completely stole my energy, but our time together was always fun, regardless.
do you know how it feels to laugh genuinely when your life is dedicated to conjuring fake chuckles? i’ve only known true laughter with a few people, jillian being one of them.
but in 2007, we went our separate ways.
we fell out of touch, aside from a few christmas hellos and goodbyes. these cold memories make my heart sink.
i couldn’t control my bulimia and therefore never visited her new, lovely home in maryland. she thought that i was a bitch. i was.
but we’ve recently reconnected on facebook, and she invited me to drinks during her weekender to pittsburgh. i was shocked. i was happy. i was scared out of my mind! why?
i had spotted her recent photographs, picturing her dramatic weight loss, 60 pounds in fact. because of her weight loss, i was very nervous about our reunion!
although i write about weight, fat, and eating disorders everyday, even talking about these items with complete strangers on the street, i was nervous to dscuss it, with one person who knows everything about me, with one person who i could formerly be myself around.
how do i congratulate her? should i congratulate? how did she do it? do i ask? should i ask? food? fitness? what were her motives? is she happy? will she think that i disliked her looks before the weight loss? i’ve always found jillian to be pretty! she knows that. but will she get mad at me? does she read my blog? how do i ask without sounding serious? not everyone becomes bulimic. not everyone who loses weight becomes anorexic. is she skinnier than me now? wait. shut the f*ck up, brain. how can i be a good, true, healthy friend?
it was a lovely afternoon. we laughed, we cried, and she assured me: despite the fact that she’s lost 60 pounds, her feet have not shrunk. her fabulous shoes remain as active participants in her fabulous wardrobe. thank goodness! 🙂 and she also assured me: she’s healthy, she’s happy, and she’s confident, for the first time in her life.
congratulations to jillian on finding happiness. 🙂
how do you talk about weight loss, food, exercise, and eating disorders with people who are genuinely trying to lose weight?
and if you’re the one losing weight, how do you discuss this with the people who matter?
© nicole marie story and nicoleandgwendolyn.com, 2011.